Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
