We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
