You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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