Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
