Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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