Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
This couple is walking their pig around campus
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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