I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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