I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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