I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
