By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
