There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
