I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
