I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
