I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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