i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize