You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
