There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
