im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
