What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
