you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize