Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize