Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
