i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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