She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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