Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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