I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
