A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
