I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
