It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
