I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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