I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
