we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
