can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
