How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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