Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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