Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
