I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
