Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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