Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
