My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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