is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
