he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
