Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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