this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
