anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize