Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
