i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize