i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
