I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
