My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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