At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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