Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You should frame my arrest warrant.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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