he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
