She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
