He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
