Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
