Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
