I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm really busy with my period
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