its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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